While you were sleeping ...

Once upon a time she was an Atomic Kitten – and now things are close to a Hiroshima moment for Kerry Katona. She was fearless, untouchable and you were not even sure whether or not she indeed did possess an awesome intergalactic power as her star shone brightly. Nowadays Kerry appears more like drowned moggy, lurching from disaster to debacle, having being spaced out and as high as a kite – and no, that was not down to the space-travel. She’s revealed that she will be “on the streets soon” and boo-hooed: “I'm near to the end and don't know what to do. I've been f***** over time and time again.” Meow! (People)

Hunky Alex Reid, Katie Price's latest lover, has confessed that he is a cocaine junky. The cage-fighting porn star let it slip that he used to do enjoy the white stuff "too often". He also revealed that he mixes with gangsters and other undesirables. The scoop will be another body-blow for Jordan, who looks increasingly less likely to gain custody of her children if she remains with Reid. Sniff, sniff indeed. (News of the World)

Poor Miley Cyrus. She’s a beautiful 16-year-old; one of the most sought-after young actors in the world; has another music album out and now a clothing range. Oh, and a dad who used to have a ridiculous mullet. But she says “it really sucks” to grow up and make mistakes in front of millions of people, what with being in the public eye. Hmm … fame, gazillions of dollars OR being out of the public eye, free to make mistakes that will not be analysed by anyone other than family or friends? Pull the other one you goodie-goodie horror show. We hope she make a GIGANTIC mistake in front of everyone soon. Bigger than tucking the back of a ‘Miley Cyrus’ skirt into her ‘Miley Cyrus’ knickers to reveal a hedgehog-hairy bottom. We’re keeping our fingers crossed for a total faith-renouncing meltdown. Perhaps Kerry Katona can become her personal assistant?! (Huffington Post)

Good news for Shania Twain - man, she's feeling like a woman again. She's hinted that she is going out with the chap who - this gets a little complicated now - used to be married to Twain's best friend before her husband, Robert 'Mutt' Lange, ran off with her last year. "[Man!] I feel very alive and well, ready to take on the gift of another year," said the 44-year-old folk warbler on her birthday on Friday. Frederic Thiebaud, "a true gentleman", has kept her company since his wife and her long-time best buddy, Marie-Anne Thiebaud, ran off with Lange. She barfed: "We leaned on one another through the ups and downs, taking turns holding each other up. We've become stronger and closer through it all." (US Magazine)