If tuna pasta bake be the food of love Richard Madeley, serve us up a hefty portion

Posted by: 3am
05/02/10
01:31 pm

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As much as we want to run our fingers through his hair (strictly ironically, of course. Of course...), we haven’t previously given that much thought to Richard Madeley’s seduction techniques.

Turns out he originally bagged Judy with a little help from a few tins of soup on their first date back in the 1980s. He didn’t place them in a pillowcase and subdue her with them, if your warped mind was heading in that direction.

And now, 3am.co.uk can EXCLUSIVELY* reveal how he utilised some Cream of Mushroom in a recipe that, until now, has been kept as secret as the special herby ingredients that go into KFC.

Blessed only with the cooking skills of a below-average student, Richard whipped up a “tastily ghastly” tuna pasta bake… and this is how you make it, according to his Tweets.

“Tuna bake:1 tin chickn&1tin mushrm soup.2 tins tuna.Prawns.Mushrooms.Mixed herbs.Peas/sweetcorn.Dash w. wine.S&Pepper.Serve w pasta.Delish.

&two bags of crushed crisps.Mix it up,top put uncrushed crisps on top and bake for 30".Vile recipe but comfort food like Heinz Tom Soup.

Those 2 tuna tweets were part of same recipe,yes.Crushed crisps make it less runny;crisps on top make it, well, crispy.How tastily ghastly!”

Not sure that even at our most sozzled we’d be able to stomach this hellish concoction, but it was obviously quite the aphrodisiac for Judy. She must have guts of steel.

But if this is what we'd have to endure to get a piece of Dicky, then swallow it down we must.

Just think: without this culinary abomination, they’d be no Chloe Madeley.

Just think about that.

* in no way actually true

(Pics: Rex Features)