FAO those that desire to chew Wogan's nipples right off – your time has come

At what point do you think the publicity skivvy overseeing the baking of a cakey replica of Sir Terry Wogan thought "Something feels wrong here"?

Was it when the doughy dummy was taken out of the oven (oh sweet Jesus Christ – just like a confectionery zombie escaping a cremation!), revealing dimensions significantly off the 'life-size' brief?

Did the doubts first arise after the icing was applied, leaving Wogan's doppelbunner looking more like a bog-eyed Stephen Fry gone to seed?

Or maybe it was the moment the cameras started flashing and Sir Terry seemed to passive-aggressively restrain A CAKE with a mildly demented look on his face?

This atrocity was intended to celebrate the 30^th anniversary of STW hosting BBC Children in Need. Couldn't they have got him a bottle of whisky to mark the occasion instead? We're not going to be able to sleep for the rest of the month.

Now, who wants a slice of Terry Wogan's cock?